The Nuclear Family

[Bloodcinder]

The nuclear family: one father, one mother, and their biological children. Everybody has the same race and religion. Everybody has the same last name. Everybody gets along. Everybody wants to get married and give birth to another nuclear family.

Does the nuclear family exist or is it just an ideal? Is this kind of clean-cut uniformity a good thing or a bad thing? Should our society encourage such a family or accept alternative forms as well? And why are we seeing the breakdown of the traditional family in modern society?

Reproduction and divorce rates in America are a good place to start with the discussion if anybody cares to do so.

[tjkitsune]

I'd say ideal. With the fact of what is sociallably acceptable is always changing, it's hard to really say that families can be as close as they once were. Families 30-40 years ago were forced to spend time together and get along. Children behaved because their parents were around and there to watch them.

With advanced TVs, portable gaming, and the internet, people are more seperated. They're more attracted by being in their own worlds, or cyborspace than being social with other humans. People are lacking in manners and social behavior. Seriously. People have become more rude, more into themselves, and very inconsiderate of others.

Another point is to look at how one acts online, versus in person with another human. i.e. Bill.. With his language and cursing he uses, do you think he'd really act that way in person, or talk to his own mother in that manner? Would you take him seriously if he ran up to you and said he was going to hack you?
Most threats online are pretty much null. Yeah, sure, someone could crash your computer with a trojan, but ya know... Machines are replaceable.
But back onto the previous point, people have become less socialable in person.

Another factor would be how much more busier people are. I know from my own personal experiances that with how much time I put into work, versus spending time with my family has dropped significantly. Honestly, I miss my time with family. My girlfriend often gets upset with me because I'm so into my work that I hardly talk to her when given the chance. My own parents have often mentioned how I seem like a different person at times because they'll go days without seeing me, even though we're in the same house. (yes, I live in my parent's basement.. I lack funds at this time for my own place..)

This..seperation of sorts can be a reason for the disaster in families. People get married in a hurry, and because of financial situations, both parents work hard, often 2-3 jobs at a time, just to make ends meet. They don't see eachother, and when they do, they're often strangers to one another. They can't help eachother out, so it causes arguements about what the other is or isn't doing. Before you know it, one of them is throwing divorce papers at the other, claiming they can no longer put up with them working so much, or how they never help out and aren't a suitable husband or father.

We're a new world compared to 30-40 years ago. Technology has changed us. The rules of life have changed. Next time you're out at a store, randomly wave to 6 people who are a mix of ages. You'll find that maybe 1..or 2..will MAYBE wave back with a smile. Others might look at you like you're a nut, or might try to do something to them. Granted, the older generation has a higher chance of returning that wave, because they grew up with that family closeness. But get people in their 20's and younger, and it's a sure bet you'll get the middle finger, or some odd looks.

[Arainach]

If one looks at the course of history and sociology, the nuclear family is anything but natural. It's really a rather modern tradition in the last couple thousand years or so. We're genetically inclined to spread our DNA around as much as possible and essentially be polygamistic. Now, with world population what it is, I'm not about to encourage rampant reproduction everywhere.

Now, as to why it's breaking down, there's a variety of reasons:

The removal of religion as the primary source of law and societal rulemaking has made divorce acceptable. People are no more unhappy than they've traditionally been, it's just easier to leave now The removal of socioeconomical barriers. For a long time, women couldn't easily get jobs and single women were looked down on in society. Now that they've made some progress towards achieving equality, some are able to get out of unpleasant or abusive relationships that they might have had to stay in as recently as 50 years ago for lack of being able to support themselves. Marriage is seen as far less important than it once was, so many people are in long-term relationships without the legal bond of marriage. It's seen as avoiding complications, since divorces are difficult and expensive, and avoiding marriage avoids that complication when/if people want to break up or leave. As tjkitsune hinted at, society itself has become, while not less social per se, less.....directly involved. This can make family and intrapersonal relationships more strained and difficult. I don't think that this is one of the larger factors, but it may in fact play a role.

As to my feelings on it.....I don't consider it important at all. I think good parenting is good parenting whether it's done by a married man and woman, a single parent, a homosexual couple, whatever. It's far more about caring about each other and any children and giving attention than it is about the exact makeup.

[tjkitsune]

As to my feelings on it.....I don't consider it important at all. I think good parenting is good parenting whether it's done by a married man and woman, a single parent, a homosexual couple, whatever. It's far more about caring about each other and any children and giving attention than it is about the exact makeup.

Heh. This goes back to why kids these days feel unloved. Bad parenting, or neglect in a child can lead to them going over the edge and learn habits we really don't want them to..

[Seegtease]

There's way too much topic matter in the first post to even begin. I believe the nuclear family was the original plan, but has been a lost cause since the fall. I don't think it's impossible, though. I've seen them, and they work great. The most well-behaved kids I've ever met have been in a nuclear family. The worst kids I've seen have been in broken families. Maybe you can call it coincidence, but personally I believe there's more to it than that.

I could probably write 20 paragraphs on my opinions here but I really don't feel like it right now.

[Bloodcinder]

Well, pick something you do want to address and go with it when/if you have the time.

[SpaceProg]

I sure wasn't brought up in a Nuclear Family, but I don't feel any less loved because of it. In fact, I think I was quite blessed in the love I received from my mother and aunt.

[DoomKitty]

What's a nuclear family? Doesn't exist in my world. :)

I'd prefer a nuclear family. Broken up families are a pain in the butt. Can't say that for all of them, but mine is. I don't feel any less loved, but sometimes it's hard to realize you are when you've got 6 other siblings and you're in the middle when you're younger. But you grow out of that mentality at some point. Hey the more family = the more love right? hah

[Gio Takahashi]

The nuclear family: one father, one mother, and their biological children. Everybody has the same race and religion. Everybody has the same last name. Everybody gets along. Everybody wants to get married and give birth to another nuclear family.

Does the nuclear family exist or is it just an ideal? Is this kind of clean-cut uniformity a good thing or a bad thing? Should our society encourage such a family or accept alternative forms as well? And why are we seeing the breakdown of the traditional family in modern society?

Reproduction and divorce rates in America are a good place to start with the discussion if anybody cares to do so.At first, I didn't think the nuclear family existed, then I think my family as a whole (not my household, but the entire family, including my cousins, etc.)


HEre are my answers:

Does the nuclear family exist or is it just an ideal? The answer is yes. It's an ideal family, but it's definitely possible and doable. I think of of my two sets of cousin. There's My first uncle's family. The husband and wife has been married since 1987(?), and have three children. All of them are healthy, and boy do they get along: They go fishing together, they go camping together, they play games together. I didn't think a family like that would be possible, until I think of this family. Their religion didn't matter, they all have the same last name, and they all want to get married someday and have their own family. Edit: this is what I believe would count as a 'nuclear family'

Then there's my second uncle; husband has been married, twice, still married to his second wife. He had one boy with his first wife, and three girls with the second wife. Currently that family is very close, the oldest boy takes care of the young girls at time, when he is with them, sometimes he have to go to Maryland to stay with his mother, and go to school there. Currently he lives with his dad to go to college here.

Then I think of my family. On the surface we look close together, but we have a bit of history. My dad left the family twice, both periods it was stressful, but they got back together and still continued on. They don't get along perfectly, as there has been many form of argument that would be rather... chaotic. Lastly, I'm generally detatched, I Spend a lot of times on my computer, or with my friends, or doing class or work. Does it have an effect on the family? Oh yes, very much so, which leads to the next question:

Is this kind of clean-cut uniformity a good thing or a bad thing? Should our society encourage such a family or accept alternative forms as well?I think it's a good thing, it promotes love and closelessness, and bonding. People that grows up in such a family would likely be very healthy, very open, and very happy, which will likely lead to have a very productful life of their own, contributing to the future society, and the cycle goes on. So this is something that we should definitely encourage, and it is definitely a good thing.

However, a family like the nuclear family is very difficult to maintain and keep, because of today's society.

And why are we seeing the breakdown of the traditional family in modern society?There are many, many factors on why this break down, I'll share a few point based on what I've observed throughout my life time.

Advacement of Technology is one of the biggest factor:

TJ Kitsune made some great point on this. Technology is one of the larger factor on what prevents nucelar family. Kids would spend all their time playing video games, or playing on their computers, or whatever they would do. Most family will try hard to keep the kids from playing too much time on that, and spend more time with the family, but for the most part, they will give up at some point and let them keep playing, and hope they would spend time them. Sadly as it is, I'm a good example in this case. thinking back, it's not exactly something that I'm happy about. Although I know I am still loved, and that I spend more time with them lately than before.

On the other hand, technology can be a benefactor to the family as well. Especially when it comes to movie and various video games. Especially today's Nintendo Wii. There are many video games that the entire household can enjoy together, and same with the movies. it's what can keep the family together.

Married couple can grow bored of each other.

I guess that's somewhat an immature way to put it. It's early in the morning (For me) to get my serious thinking going (and yetI'm posting in this topic.) Overtime, some couple would feel 'tired' of each other and would want to move on, and want a change. There would be number of reason, they wouldn't be happy anymore, they want a life of their own, they value their job moreso to keep their life going, and etc. There are quite a few factors that could change the entire family for better or for worse.

[Bloodcinder]

The answer is yes. It's an ideal family, but it's definitely possible and doable. I think of of my two sets of cousin. There's My first uncle's family. The husband and wife has been married since 1987(?), and have three children. All of them are healthy, and boy do they get along: They go fishing together, they go camping together, they play games together. I didn't think a family like that would be possible, until I think of this family. Their religion didn't matter, they all have the same last name, and they all want to get married someday and have their own family.

Then there's my second uncle; husband has been married, twice, still married to his second wife. He had one boy with his first wife, and three girls with the second wife. Currently that family is very close, the oldest boy takes care of the young girls at time, when he is with them, sometimes he have to go to Maryland to stay with his mother, and go to school there. Currently he lives with his dad to go to college here.

Then I think of my family. On the surface we look close together, but we have a bit of history. My dad left the family twice, both periods it was stressful, but they got back together and still continued on. They don't get along perfectly, as there has been many form of argument that would be rather... chaotic. Lastly, I'm generally detatched, I Spend a lot of times on my computer, or with my friends, or doing class or work. Does it have an effect on the family? Oh yes, very much so, which leads to the next question:
I think the first of these three is the only one that counts as a valid nuclear family. The second one involves remarriage and step-children. The third involves an estranged or abandoning father.

When I refer to "the nuclear family" I'm talking about Leave it to Beaver: the spotless, once-formed, always-together family of the "traditional" Western style. I can't consider my own family to be a nuclear family because 1) my mother is on her second marriage, and 2) my father is not biologically related to me, and 3) I don't plan to have children or a wife. We all get along, but just because the family has a father, a mother, and a son doesn't mean we're traditional, because we're certainly not.

[Gio Takahashi]

yes, that is what I meant, the first of the three families I mentioned is a nuclear family.

[Bloodcinder]

Oh, okay. My bad.

[Seegtease]

Gio has good points. I'll elaborate more on my view, but I mostly agree with what Gio said.

My wife and I have been listening to some lessons from a Christian teacher about a Christian family, and a lot about raising kids.

But one of the points made very early in the lessons is that kids do not make a family. When you get married, you are a family. Kids will expand that family, and make their own families someday, but they are not the core. The husband and wife are the core. He explains that by looking back at creation, and that it all "very good" without the kids. It's a lot more elaborate than I'm being, but I firmly believe it. Once kids believe they are the core of the family, they will start to believe they are the core of the world, or at least all the people around them. It does not yield good results. To be more specific, Christ is to be the real core, and it should reflect through the parents.

Anyway, children will start young imitating what they see. If the marriage is strong, the kids will see that and grow to appreciate it. Divorces are painful, can be costly, and just a hassle. By making children aware of that early in life, they're getting a great service from you as a parent.

[cyriacus]

*for the broken families out there*
i've seen my share of broken families out there and some/most of them are so totally messed up that they bother contacting their family members anymore, but there are acturally some really well behaved kids in them too.
i know this family that the dad left and the mom has to take care of two children (not that bad but when ur a woman in a male dominate sociaty, its pretty hard.) the children were acturally extreamly well behaved. they knew what their mom was going through and actrally helped her out around the house. the older sibling is now an english teacher(like wtf!? teacher!?) and the younger sibling is working to become a reporter. and omfg when we ate dinner together with them they were really polite. you'd never expect them to come from a so called "broken family"