Spare the rod, spoil the child?

[Seegtease]

Some people are adamantly against it, some people think it's the only way to bring up moral and responsible children.

Is it wrong to ever intentionally inflict small amounts of pain to a child for discipline, or does a child need a swat to the butt every now and again? How severe must the disobedience be? Where do you draw the line between discipline and abuse? If you disagree with it, what other methods would you consider?

Should be room for debate here.

[Bloodcinder]

Corporal punishment is basically a requirement for all but the most patient and supernaturally gifted parents. Common sense delineates between appropriate levels of pain and inappropriate levels of damage.

[Seegtease]

You'd think.

[Bloodcinder]

Not everybody has common sense. The lack of common sense for some people doesn't mean that the rest of people should be limited in their practices.

[deathofcheese]

Whup 'em one reeeeeal gud.

Although I absolutely hated it when I was on the receiving end, I think that if I ever did have kids, I would consider spanking as a punishment. If you have younger kids, obviously they're more of a handful when trying to keep them in line. Although there are probably other methods that do work, none work so well as a good bout of hand-to-butt (or, as my dad liked to use, the "Board of Education") for letting unruly kids know that you mean business. Obviously, as they get older, you can't really do that. Probably about the time middle school comes around is when spanking should start to not be used as a disciplinary procedure. After that, what I hope I can use is what my dad used against me: guilt. NOTHING pains me as much as when dad guilt-trips me. #1, that he would resort to that is annoying as hell, but #2, when I start to see that I let my dad down, who has nothing but esteem for me that I'll grow up to be a good person and will accomplish great things, I feel like one of the worst people in the world. Given all the stories he has (my dad was an electronics technician in the Navy for 20 years, as well as has one of the most interesting families EVER), my life in comparison doesn't ever really seem to come close. So, when someone so great that I care for who wants nothing more than to see me succeed in life feels incredibly let down because of some bone-headed choice I made, it's the worst feeling in the world.

[Gio Takahashi]

I think it's a good way to get discipline in. People cry "child abuse" over it, probably because they went through the same thing themselves, I guess.

I think it's a necessity.

[SpaceProg]

Spanking? Yes, but as a last resort. Beating? Hell no.
And yes, contrary to what today's hippy media would tell you, there's a huge difference between the two.

[Z]

I absolutely believe in corporal punishment as long as there is good reason behind it.

My parents beat my ass with belts, switches, whatever was available. I went to college, moved out, got a job, have no criminal record, and have my life in relative order.

My cousin (who has rich parents who NEVER spanked him) is jobless, dropped out of college twice, wrecked 5+ cars since he was 16 (He's now 23), has an extensive criminal record (possession, resisting, speeding, reckless driving, DWI/DUI, etc.) and right now, other than living off his dad's cash, he has no idea what he wants to do in life other than smoke weed and get drunk.

[Killer_Man_]

My parents spanked me with belts and switches as well. Once we got old enough, my parents stopped and us kids are just fine.

Though the few times I remember like in resturants when I go to one and see kids misbehaving and going apeshit. I remember my mom would take a spoon and thunk right on the head. Stop that. We cried and then we listened.

Or the other time my little brother when he was four was running around like a maniac in the store. My mom lightly grabbed him by the hair and he went to run off again. He didn't run off agian now did he?

[RonDo]

I got lit up as a kid and as much as I hated it then, I deserved it. And I still believe in it. I don't see how having a timeout is all that effective as a disciplinary action.

[Killer_Man_]

Much like purple pens, no suspensions and detentions right? ;) In my HS, the school 'psychologist' determined that red = bad. And as well suspensions/detentions sent a bad message to kids.

[Bloodcinder]

When I was a TA, my professor wouldn't let me use red to grade. I had to use green. And that was in college.

[Killer_Man_]

Why? I just don't get why.

Red = you fucked up, you dumb ass. Try harder next time.

[SpaceProg]

I never saw red marks because I was such an awesome student.

Yeah.

[RonDo]

It's almost like the whole, let's not award trophies...everyone is a winner, yay...but that is another issue.

[tjkitsune]

I'm alright with spanking, but not if done with anything else other than a hand. Not fond of whipping my belt out and slapping it across a child's rear to make a point.

[Charlie]

If talking doesn't work, or if they act like they're ignoring you, or they're somehow higher up than you are, all bets are off. They're not God, and they're not Jesus. And they're certainly not too precious and innocent to get their ass beat when they're asking for it. If it goes into the realm of physical abuse though, that's different.

[SomaticCorpse]

In premise, I guess the first thing to do, is not really resort to physical punishment, all the time... Sometimes, fear is a better culprit than the punishment, itself.

I can remember being a kid, and having to wait until my dad got home, for me to be punished... the apprehension, the fear and the feeling of letting my dad down, and him having to punish me, after a long day's work.

When I hit about 16, things became drastically different... They had progressed towards this, but it hit full-effect, around that age or younger. My dad treated me as an equal, talked with me maturely, like he would any other adult.

I guess the things most parents don't do, is make the child realize the gravity of what they do... They just punish, and resort to using punishment as a 'rectifier'. ...but what doesn't come from that, is the understanding of the weight of one's decision.

For example, had my parents told me that my grades from high school could get me into any college that I wanted, and how a degree would further my life and my income... ...I might have approached thing differently.

I think that parents don't approach things, realistically, with their kids... Some do, some don't. I can't say, in absolution, that all parents do or don't, because I have only my parents and pseudo-parents, as examples...

So, suffice to say, I would resort to spanking, only if the situation warranted the realization of weight of my child's actions... I wouldn't just spank them and tell them 'no', I would explain why not, and why they were spanked and why it's bad that they did what they did.

[reginacroft]

Spanking is a good resort to go to.

I was spanked alot, but I would learn the lesson. Other parents think that their kid is perfect and if any parent has to spank they are awful parents and must save the child. No. You spoil your child or are lucky.

The best way to go about it is to talk, calmly at first then a bit louder until they look at you. If not, you put yourself in front of them. After that it is your choice, but that's how I work things. Spank your kid all you want lol. Within reason.
Double Post
That came out weird.
Beating is not ok. At all. My mum started hitting me, but stopped the day I stopped her and went to hit back.... embarrassingly I was 17. She loves me though don't get me wrong.

It is hard to keep your temper sometimes, especially when the child refuses to listen. I once sat on the oldest of the six kids I watch. She was REFUSING to move to get ready for bed and seeing as it was 20 min after her bed time and the other kids were asleep, I just got sick of it and instead of yelling or having to haul her butt downstairs, I just sat down. Lightly and not all my weight, but she got the hint and went to bed.

Be creative, but sometimes a spank is all that will work.
Again, beating is not ok.

Oh, and only use your hand goodness.

[Seegtease]

Unfortunately, I was hardly spanked. Fortunately, I was pretty well-behaved anyway, and turned out alright.

I agree with spanking, and not just because it's Biblical. But there are certain ways it should be handled.

The first rule is to never ever spank in anger. Spanking is not revenge. Spanking is discipline. My pastor would use the term "spank 'em sweet." You spank them because you love them and you want them to not have discipline problems early in life, because later in life, those problems will ruin their life. It's a favor.

Guilt tripping and fear, or psychological punishment I absolutely disagree with. Why? Physical pain goes away rather quickly, and there's no reason for it to last. It only need to hurt during the punishment. Mental pain can last years, and it's not worth any possible risk.

Another rule of spanking is that you must make sure they absolutely understand WHY they are being spanked. This goes hand in hand with not being angry, and is pretty self-explanatory. Without explaining to them why, they learn nothing from the discipline.

The third rule is girls do not need to be spanked as hard as boys. A light spanking will upset a girl plenty, because it's upsetting to them just being spanked, let alone it hurting much. Boys may need a red butt to get the point. A belt? Maybe. I don't wear belts. I guess I'd just have to see how effective my hand was first.

[Angelus]

Spanking is definitely an option for discipline that should be on the table. Zeitgeist laid out the ground rules pretty well for it, too.

I just wouldn't advise the whole "spank 'em at least once a year, cuz you know they did something to deserve it, and it's only a matter of time till I find out" thing. I know of no one who's ever actually held to this seriously, but it's been joked about by my parents before.