Who Am I?

[Bloodcinder]

This is the only decent thread I've seen at GFF in my last week or two of returning there, so I'm stealing it for here with a modification.

In this thread, you post a short first-person statement. Everybody else has to guess the character that the statement refers to. The character should be from some media such as games, television, or movies, and you should specify that media to keep the field from being too wide open.

I will start off with an extremely easy one to show the point.

From a game: "I run around in mazes gobbling little glowing dots so that I can chew on blue ghosts."

The answer is obviously Pac-Man. So, in typical trivia thread fashion, whoever responds correctly and then gets confirmation gets to post the next challenge.

I will go ahead and post one that's not necessarily as immediately obvious. This should be easy enough for most to answer to start us out. And it helps if you bold your answers and questions to keep them distinguishable from discussion.

From a game: "As many times as I used to kidnap our newest party member, I wonder why she never tried to hit me with that frying pan."

[deathofcheese]

Bowser from SMPRG?

[Arainach]

What's SMPRG?

I guess Bowser from SMRPG. (And defer to DoC if I'm right)

[Bloodcinder]

Hah, yes, you guys are right.

Your turn, Doc.

[deathofcheese]

From video games, "I seem to like crowbars a lot, but everywhere I go, monsters seem to follow."

EZ Moade (same person):

Click here to see full text

"I graduated head of my class at MIT, but all I got to do was push carts of specimens around."

[Arainach]

Gordon Freeman, Duh.

From Movies: "OMG, I kissed my sister and my dad cut off my hand!"

[Gio Takahashi]

Luke Skywalker, Duh.

[Arainach]

Of course.

[Gio Takahashi]

From Anime: I am the head of my organization, that has been under the control of my family. I currently control two vampires.

[Z]

Integra Hellsing - "Hellsing"

[Gio Takahashi]

Indeed

[Arainach]

By the way, Z, it's your turn.

[Z]

Oops, sorry about that.

From Movies: I have the eye of the tiger and I love beating meat.

[Killer_Man_]

Rocky Balboa.(sp?)

[Z]

Correct!

[Killer_Man_]

I'm a small black house cat. I usually say witty remarks. I live with three women and I once tried to take over the world.

[Bloodcinder]

Salem from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch?

[Killer_Man_]

Yeah.

[Bloodcinder]

From a movie: "My girlfriend is dead, I hate my school, and I almost masturbated in from of my therapist. FML."

[Z]

Hehe, Donnie Darko

[Bloodcinder]

Yes.

[Z]

From a movie: I witnessed a murder but the only person who will help me is a drug dealing stoner!

[deathofcheese]

Seth Rogen's character in Pineapple Express.

[Z]

Correct!

[deathofcheese]

Movies: I'm a whiny bitch who's got a flashy sword, but I lost my girlfriend and my limbs. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO